“It’s hanging in the balance,” Ashwin told reporters.
Over the years, Ashwin has acquired the reputation of being someone who thinks a lot about his bowling. Before the series, former England left-arm spinner Monty Panesar even compared him to “an app, which keeps updating every six months”.
Ashwin, on his part, said, “That’s their opinion. I live a life for myself and I’m very happy with who I am in my own skin. I don’t read too much into it. Why should I wait for somebody else’s certification?”
For someone who many doubted could even be a Test bowler, Ashwin said he was happy to have come this far.
“It’s been a long journey. I don’t exactly know where to begin because I was an accidental spinner. I wanted to be a batter all along. Life gave me a chance, and when I walked into the
CSK dressing room, Muttiah Muralitharan didn’t want to bowl with the new ball, and eventually it got tossed at me. My first-class career was pretty good, but nevertheless, the stage in the IPL made me visible to a lot of people, and I eventually got my Test debut. People doubted whether I could be a Test bowler, and 10-13 years later, it’s not a bad achievement, so I’m pretty glad,” he said.
Is he now looking at crossing Kumble’s 619-wicket milestone, which will make him the highest wicket-taker for India in Tests?
“The simple answer is ‘no’, it’s 120 wickets away. I’m 37. I don’t know what’s in store in the next two months. You play this series, and then what lies ahead? You really don’t know. So, I don’t want to jump the gun. I’ve kept it this way for the last four-five years and it’s worked for me,” he said.
At this stage of his life, Ashwin has stopped fretting about where he stands in his career.
“I’m really happy where I am in life. About what people think of me, definitely in the last six 5-6 years, I’ve actually not cared about it. I can’t keep proving everybody wrong or I can’t prove everybody right.
“I need to be happy. I’m in a really good space in my life and want this to continue.
“I don’t want to let go of the love for the game. At one point in my life, I was in a dark space, and I didn’t want to watch the game, and that’s not where I want to go in my life again ever again. I’m happy to watch the game. Last night I watched the highlights of the third ODI between Afghanistan and Sri Lanka. I watched live the New Zealand-versus-South Africa Test. So, I mean, this is who I want to be and I’m glad it’s that way,” he said.
