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‘Only thing he wished for is for society to be equal & free’: G N Saibaba’s daughter talks about her father | Hyderabad News

‘Only thing he wished for is for society to be equal & free’: G N Saibaba’s daughter talks about her father | Hyderabad News

By the time the Nagpur HC acquitted him in March this year in an Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act case over alleged Maoist links, former Delhi University professor G.N. Saibaba had already spent a better part of the last decade in various prisons — including the Nagpur Central Prison. Two days after his death from postoperative complications, his only child Manjeeraa PhD scholar at Hyderabad’s English and Foreign Languages University, spoke to The Indian Express about her father, his incarceration and his wishes and aspirations. Here are excerpts.

The time he got to spend outside as a free man was a lot less than what he deserved. He deserved to be here for a lifetime. The jail authorities sentenced him to a lifetime in prison. He has already spent several years in prison but he got life imprisonment.

What were the last few months after your father’s release like?

When he was acquitted of all charges we thought, you know, his life that he got back, he’d spend the entire life with us. I thought I’ll be there with him till he’s 80-90 and I’ll take care of him we’ll be together, we’ll discuss things you know, and I missed him I missed a lot, I missed him a lot and he missed a big part of me of my life and he promised me this time that he will not go, that he will spend all his time with me. It’s unfortunate that his body, after being degraded so much after 10 years of improper care, couldn’t handle a simple surgery and such it’s quite unfortunate that this has had to happen.

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But I’m still imagining conversations with my father, I’m discussing things with him, I’m talking, casually chatting… all the conversations I couldn’t not have with him yet.

Could you tell me about his last wish?

He didn’t know that there was going to be a last wish that he’ll make. The last time I spoke to him was two days before in the evening, and he described the procedure to stop the internal bleeding. He’s always well-read and well-aware of what’s going to happen to his body. He makes sure about that. And he said it’s a very safe procedure, they’ll stop the bleeding, (he said): “I’ll be fine after that”. And he told me…like he had plans for the next day… he told me that he read the book we were discussing and asked me to read it and (said) we’ll discuss it tomorrow.

What is the book?

‘Selected Writings of Marx’ from Bottomore and Co.

That was the book he was reading?

He wanted to introduce me to a section of Marxist writing. He said that’s the best for really understanding what Marx meant. So, we wanted to discuss that together. And aside from that, he told me to get him a planner because he was like there’s a lot I have to do after I get better and get out of the hospital. So, I got… got him a planner and he started writing, barely started writing into it before all this pain and internal bleeding and everything happened. He had lots of plans.

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Did he share with you what he really wished for, after being acquitted?

There is no dying wish that he had. But if there was a wish that he wished, since he was a kid, the only wish he had was for people…for society to be equal and free. The only thing he ever struggled for. And the only thing he could never comprehend was that there was such inequality between people. This inequality he could never comprehend. And he always believed that our achievement should be to achieve this equality in society where no other human is treated unfairly to others. That was his wish all throughout his life. And on these lines his ideology developed and he has been working towards and fighting for it. And that is the wish now we all have to continue with us.

What is the road ahead for you? Do you also think of taking the same path your father took?

For me, I haven’t…I think all of us must take the same path as my father because in his own words… like you know… he told me once that if we don’t, you know, struggle for the people, if we don’t speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves, if we live for our own individual greed, then that is no life. So, we all must continue that journey. And I have followed his footsteps to a great extent. I’m taking the same subject that he taught. It became my passion as well. And I don’t know about how the future will be, but I know that this is the path that we’ll all take, and I certainly shall take.

I’m sure this has come as a major shock to you. How has the family taken it?

Like, I’m still in disbelief. I cannot believe that. Like, even if I see his body in front of me, I can’t believe it’s true. So I am currently in denial, you can say that. My mom is not taking it well at all. She knew him since she was 15 years old. And until the last 10 years, they had never spent a long time apart, like, a couple of weeks maybe, when they were traveling or something… But they were always together. Like, the 10 years, she thought she could bear, whatever fight we, she thought she could fight because he was there to fight for. And they only got such a short time together. And they didn’t get to discuss so many things that they’d like to…

Did your father have any regrets?

No, he was very happy when he was out here. There was so much he wanted to do. Regrets about what?

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The goals that he had in mind and whether he has been able to achieve it or not.

See, his passing was sudden and unexpected. To regret… I’m pretty sure that dad will not regret anything… because if you are saying he might have regretted his struggle, absolutely not. Absolutely. Not. He would have…if he had to choose again in the past, he would have taken the same path. Because that is the way he thinks, that is the way he functions. He cannot do it.

Otherwise, how did he recall his days of incarceration?

We got short time with him. He only told me a couple of stories and right now, I don’t think it’s the appropriate time for me to recall everything.

If you can briefly tell me…

A lot of the incarceration, he was in pain constantly, his medicines were not provided, the facilities were not apt for a wheelchair-using person. So, he was in a lot of pain and discomfort and he just passed the time keeping one thing in mind. Like, his fight, and this fight, is not his fight alone. It’s everyone’s fight. He read books and poetry was the one thing that kept him going. He wrote a lot of poems as well. And there are some, like, apart from the memories of illness and pain and the mistreatment in jail, if you’re aware of it. They put up CCTV to invade his privacy. He was never given medicine properly on time.

Did he have any fond memories too from his prison time?

There was a lot of harassment, and despite that, he still has some fond memories inside the jail. Like, so he… I actually said that the cheapest thing you can buy there in jail is jaljeera. That was like a special treat for them. So, when it would come to the prison store, they would all pool in their money together and buy jaljeera packets and they would make that drink because in the Nagpur summer heat, that was the only refreshing thing they could find, so he has some memories like that. He told me about the time he taught everyone English and the kind of mistakes they would make while learning and the difficulty he would have teaching them, because a lot of them only knew Marathi. There would be a language gap but he still taught them.

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When did your father donate his body to the hospital? Or when did he say that?

It was always his wish. He never had… He never, you know… He was an atheist but he never believed in any funerary rites. He said that at a certain point in society, those rights had a place to build a community. But right now, that’s not the case. Right now, the most important thing for a person is to contribute to society. His idea of all this is always to be the present.

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